Tag: forgiveness

How To Pray: When You’re Up Against A Wall

“I think we all have empathy. We may not have enough courage to display it.” – Maya Angelou

What’s the wall you feel like you are up against these days?

What kind of wall has COVID-19 thrown up in your life? Walls of anxiety? Walls of joblessness? Walls of mourning?

Aside from COVID-19 there are still many of the other concerns that are part of our lives that are still real, still worrying us, and some are made worse because of the pandemic.

How to pray when you feel like you’re up against a wall, nowhere else to go, not sure what else to do?

It’s easy to pray with anger, frustration, and resentment. But how to pray with empathy, courage and hope when up against a wall?

In Jerusalem there is a literal wall that people press themselves up against to wail when they feel like their lives are up against a wall.

The Wailing Wall in the Holy City is part of the western edge of the Temple, all that is left of what Herod beautified and Titus destroyed almost 2,000 years ago.

It’s a complicated wall, which is why it draws people to it with their complicated lives to pray, to mourn, lament, wail, intercede, plead, hope, and bless.

While there is only one Wailing Wall in the world, we can all relate to the conflicted spirits that are drawn to that wall.

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The Western Wall of the Temple Mount

While we don’t have a Wailing Wall in our city, when we feel like we are up against a wall, we can still pray like those in the Holy City where everything is “complicated” and shaped by violence, poverty, resentment, fear and hope.

What about you: if you could go to the Wailing Wall, what would you want to pray about?

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Up against the “Wailing Wall”

How to pray when up against a wall? With trust.

You are not alone when you are up against a wall.

It can be a reality-check about where you stand with God, and the little bit of trust you have opens you up to the empathy God has for you, and it can fuel your courage and empathy towards others up against a wall.

What did I pray for when up against the Wailing Wall?

Mercy and peace for the people I know.

Cheesy, I know.

But with my head up against the wall, remembering the many conflicts in my spirit and the world around me that loom large over me, I tried to clear the clutter in my heart to hear the words of the Lord.

Up against the wall, I worked my way through the Lord’s Prayer and his Beatitudes.

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Praying against the Wall

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” – Jesus of Nazareth

How to pray when up against a wall?

One way is to immerse yourself in the Lord’s Prayer – own it in your spirit, trust that God is hearing you, and with you, and working to answer it in your life, no matter what is ahead of you.

Another way: open your eyes to see the blessings God has brought to you, and is bringing to you – even if all you see are stones and crevices. The Beatitudes – the Blessings – are how Jesus operates in our world with walls and wars, resentments and revenge.

When up against a wall, focus on how God blesses you, and through you, even amidst whatever you are facing.

As a Christian, praying on the heights of Mount Zion where the Jewish Temple stood for centuries, and is now a site for two Muslim mosques, it was sobering and humbling.

Seeing the beautiful Dome of the Rock mosque on the Temple Mount inspires me, but also conflicts my spirit. For some it stands as a symbol of God’s favor, for others it’s an obstacle to it.

And if I wanted it to be for me, a source of resentment towards all those who have fomented bloodshed on this site, who have perpetrated violence, who have incited hate and terror.

With a group of YMCA professionals in the OnPrinciple program, I was able to stand next to the beautiful mosques on the temple mount. It compelled me to pray for peace with a renewed earnestness.

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God .” – Jesus of Nazareth

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Dome of the Rock Mosque
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Selfie on the Temple Mount
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OnPrinciple Group 2020

The day also included a stop in a space some believe was where Jesus hosted his last supper with his disciples before he was betrayed by Judas and handed over to the government authorities for execution.

It became a Byzantine church, then a mid-millennium mosque, then retaken as a Christian site, now operated by the Israeli government.

Here it was that Jesus washed the feet of his twelve apostles, shared a Passover meal, and then broke bread, passed a cup and asked them to remember him.

It feels “complicated” in that space now. Eucharist is complicated now. So is the gospel, salvation, and Christian hospitality. But somehow we are expected to not give up on peace and mercy.

“Blessed are those who still hunger and thirst for righteousness – for they shall be filled.” Jesus of Nazareth

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Upper Room of the Last Supper, Mount Zion

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Olive Tree in Upper Room, gift of Pope John Paul 2; three branches – for Jews, Christians, Muslims – symbol of peace

How to pray when up against a wall? From the heart, with trust, courage and empathy.

Like our Lord, when he was up against the wall, we can learn to pray from him and how to bless through him.

May mercy and peace sprout from your life when you are up against a wall. 

Forgive To Live

Forgiveness is a difficult choice, but it opens up a new way to live where grace, faith, and peace have soil to put down roots and flourish in your soul.

Resentment is a much easier choice to make when we are hurt, slighted, disappointed, abused, and neglected – it’s natural, it flows from the wounding. But left unchecked, or when nourished, it takes over your life and chokes the roots of hope, love, and empathy.

To live with joy, we must forgive.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus sums up his teaching on life with God, on living in this earth as it really is with this declaration: “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” [Matthew 6.14, NIV]

To navigate our way with the Lord through a world full of darkness, evil people, and unintended consequences, if we refuse to forgive those who sin against us, we will be consumed by it.

When we hold on to bitterness, resentment, revenge, hatred, disappointment, envy, grudges – we separate ourselves from God and those around us. Unforgiveness infects us and affects how we relate to everyone else like a cancer, maybe undetected, but still putting out toxic tentacles that will reveal themselves in a devastating way. It leads to a kind sickness unto death in spirit, mind and body.

Christians believe that in Christ Jesus, God has already forgiven the sins of the world, including your sin. You are already forgiven, if you will believe it.

How do you know you believe it? When you live it.

We are motivated to forgive by many factors, but one of them is that we have already been given much grace, and we’ll know that we treasure that grace when we share it with others – who don’t deserve it, just as we didn’t deserve it.

How often should we forgive those who sin against us?

“Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” [Matthew 18.21-22, NIV]

Jesus says “77 times.” A lot. As much as needed.

Lewis Smedes in The Art of Forgiving (one of the best books out there on the matter) observes that the work of forgiveness includes: rediscovering the humanity of the person who hurt us; surrendering our right to get even; revising our feelings toward the person who hurt us. This is ongoing work, not a one-time occurrence.

If you’re in a place where you’re struggling to forgive yourself or others, and not sure how to do it, get this book. the art of forgiving smedes

According to Smedes, here are some statements on what forgiveness is NOT:

  • Forgiving someone who did us wrong does NOT mean that we tolerate the wrong he did.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we want to forget what happened.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we excuse the person who did it.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we take the edge off the evil of what was done to us.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we surrender our right to justice.
  • Forgiving does NOT mean we invite someone who hurt us once to hurt us again.

It took many years for me to forgive the drunken young mother who drove head on into my brother on the highway, killing him instantly. It was easy to hate and resent her. It was easy to forget about her. It was easier to focus on bringing good out of this tragedy. It was painful to learn how to forgive her.

Forgiveness is extraordinarily difficult if you don’t know how to do it. It’s a learned practice, a spiritual discipline, a toil of the soul, a labor of love.

A book that helped me with this specific tragedy was The Shack, by William Paul Young. What helped me most was the beautiful and compelling portrayal of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.

the shack

To be forgiven by God is to experience an unfathomably deep, oceanic love. To forgive is to let that vast and beautiful love be grace-fully poured out on others through you.

Let’s learn to forgive.

Every day.

 

 

How’s Your Spirit Doing?

So what does a healthy spirit look like? What’s some language we could use to talk about how our spirit is doing?

Since the YMCA is about putting Christian principles into practice for a healthy spirit, mind and body, what are some Scriptures we could use to guide our search on words to use to figure out how our spirit is doing?

Check out these examples of how a healthy spirit is described and embodied in everyday life.

Ask someone how they are doing, and we have standard answers: Fine. Good! Not bad. Ok. Hanging in there.

It’s pretty easy to talk about how your body is doing – we can chat for quite a while on aches and pains, surgeries and sickness, weight and appearances.

Ask someone what they are thinking about, what their plans are, what’s on their mind, and an answer is not hard to provide.

But ask someone, “How is your spirit doing?” and you’ll likely create an awkward silence.

It’s just not a question that gets asked.

But in the YMCA, our mission is centered around building a healthy spirit, mind and body for all.

So what does a healthy spirit look like? What’s some language we could use to talk about how our spirit is doing?

Since the YMCA is about putting Christian principles into practice, here are some Scriptures we could use to guide our search on words to use to figure out how our spirit is doing:

  • Gospel According to Luke, 1:46-47 And Mary said: “My soul exalts the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.”
  • Luke 23:46 And Jesus, crying out with a loud voice, said, “Father, into Your hands I commit My spirit.” Having said this, He breathed His last.
  • Second Letter to Timothy, 1:7 “For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power and love and discipline.” – Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus
  • Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
  • Psalm 51:17 “My sacrifice is a humble spirit, O God; you will not reject a humble and repentant heart.”
  • Ecclesiastes 7:8 “The end of a matter is better than its beginning; Patience of spirit is better than a prideful spirit.”

Based on this small selection, here are some words we can use to answer the question of “How’s your spirit doing?”

You could say, I’m happy and full of joy.

You could talk about people or projects you are committed to.

You could be vulnerable and describe your lack of courage and confidence, or share about your strengths, your passions, and self-control.

You could describe the despair within you in response to the brokenness of the world around you, or of your own personal failings.

You could be courageous and talk about the wrongs you’ve committed and how you’ve tried to make amends.

Finally, you could let them know how easily you can wait for what you want.

Does that help?

It helps me give some language to how my spirit is doing. Am I easily irritable? That’s a spirit thing. Am I constantly disappointed and discouraged? That’s my spirit. Am I frustrated with others? That’s my spirit.

Pay attention to your spirit.

Give yourself time to breathe deeply and slowly.

Let your spirit rest by being alone to reflect on your blessings. Get some sleep. Build margins into your schedule to play and pray.

Laugh at yourself, encourage everyone around you more often.

Let go of grudges and slights quicker, stay focused on making amends more authentically.

As Christians, we are called to solidarity in our spirit with the Spirit of Christ. Paying attention to the spirit of Christ within us is also the way to build unity with other Christians.

It’s through the Spirit of Jesus Christ that we can humbly and patiently embody the power of God’s love and justice in our world together.

We want his strength to strengthen us, his love to empower our love for others, his healing to flow through our spirit, his courage to encourage us to love, serve and care for all – friends, family, and enemies.

How’s your spirit doing?

Patient or prideful?

Courageous or unconfident?

Humbly happy or angrily resentful?

Thankful or unforgiving?

Now, try asking yourself:

How’s my spirit doing?

 

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